Thursday, July 5, 2012

A Free Spirit

Sometimes I wish I were like my 22month old daughter.  Seriously she teaches me an insane amount everyday.  But I also wish I were as free with my thoughts and heart as she is. 

The kid loves almost everyone. I think you would be hard pressed to find someone she doesn’t enjoy.  Which I now love about her.  If I am honest at first I would have preferred she not really like others.  Weird right?!  But I wanted her to myself.  Aubrey has a personality that people tend to connect to really quickly.  She’s kinda hard not to love. 

Aubrey and My Dad

I remember having times willing her not to like someone or connect to someone that I didn’t really like or was having a difficult time with.  And the kid was not picking up my vibes.  She loved relentlessly.  She loved on people so easily no matter who they were and what their story was that I remember it stopping me in my tracks. 

It made me lift the green veil I had been wearing and try to see what she saw.  I started to realize she was going to teach me lessons far beyond what I ever could have imagined.  I began to make a conscious effort to watch her around people who I had seen as people I could not connect with for various reasons, different interests, personality differences etc.  Somehow she connected.

Did she connect so easily because she had not fully developed her interests and values and personality?  Or did she love so wholly because she is young enough not to have become a self centered human like the rest of us?

Alright lower the feathers I just ruffled by calling you self-centered.  I have done a lot of self reflection over the past 5 or 6 years.  Some of it has been with a CBT therapist and I can admit I try to learn everyday to stop focusing on myself.  I have even slowly started to realize that in general when someone is lashing out at me or trying to change me to stop taking that on, it ain’t mine to deal with that person is dealing with their own issues. And likely are lashing out due to something happening in their lives. 

So has Aubrey cut out the shit and just gone straight to pure and simple compassion and empathy for people? 

I like to think she has. I like to think she doesn’t care who you are she’s gonna love on you regardless. So far that’s how she lives.  I am completely envious that she knows how to show people such acceptance when she is not even 2!  Ah well another thing to strive for.
Aubs now...and her favorite Belle!

But, I also wish I could be as vocal as she.  She tells you what she thinks and feels pretty much no matter what.  I don’t think this is exclusive to her I think a lot of kids are like this. I just spend my time with her and she is my example.

Here’s what I mean.  Picture this. We are at a play rehearsal with the entire cast. Aubrey and Ben sit at the front facing everyone. She gets a hold of a pink marker and chooses to put on a little makeup.  Ben takes the marker away. Aubrey shakes her head and turns away saying in a calm and even voice, “Gosh you’re bossy”.  Sigh, I love her.

Just as easily as she can express her distaste for our bossiness she can get so easily excited and lets us know.  Ben took her to the farm the other day.  As he was getting his shoes on to leave Aubrey began to walk by into another room. Ben stopped her and said, “Aubs say bye to dad” She stopped looked at him threw her hands in the air and exclaimed, “I got cheese!!”  (She doesn’t get cheese very often)  and then continued to do a little dance in the doorway. 

Come on don’t you wish you could do a little dance no matter where you are when you get a good piece of cheese?

1 comment:

  1. Smile...just a little less....July 26, 2012 at 9:43 PM

    When I eat cheese tomorrow. I swear I am gonna do a dance! :P