I got annoyed yesterday. People who are close to me know that I just don’t get annoyed easily. I like to live my life in a very Zen like state….pffffttt.
Anyway I was annoyed. BUT I think all for good reason. Ben and I went out for our Anniversary. *Note this was not the annoying part. We went out for a really nice dinner and then had some shopping to do for our upcoming vacation. I asked Ben if we could stop by chapters so I could browse books for a little bit. I love books. I would fill a room with books and likely never come out. This is where the annoyances start.
I thought to myself, “Self lets check out the self-help section. See what other kinds of crazy we got going on…” So I wandered over trying to escape the Chapters lady constantly following me like I was about to slip a book in my bra and run. Got to the section on Depression and Anxiety, and then immediately (well maybe a few seconds later) felt like kicking the shelf and walking away. I realized though I would likely hurt my foot, I didn’t have the right kind of shoes on that day.
Let me tell you anyone who is heading in there to get a book on Depression or Anxiety is apt to come out in a worse state. I am sure some of those books have some really great info and are super informative, but I couldn’t get past the ugliness of the books AND their titles. For example…’Ending the Depression Cycle’, ‘Change your Brain, Change your life’, ‘Beating Anxiety and Stress’. And every book has nice images of a calm pool of water with a little ripple pool in it. Or a super cool chart. Or even if your lucky a women looking thoughtful.
I stood there staring stupidly. Seriously. This is it? And not even one on PPD, besides the book Brooke Shields wrote which is actually good and I already have.
So I started ranting to myself. That’s it I am going to write a book. And it’s going to be called something cool like “Hey you crazy? I’m crazy too!” Or “Felling crazy? Probably are!” Or for the anxiety sufferers “LOOK OUT, that thing you keep thinking is going to bring sufficient harm to yourself or your loved ones is about to get you!”
OK that was not nice. But I am allowed. I got it all.
Oh and on the cover I would have something amusing. Maybe myself stomping the crystal clear puddle with a small ripple in it. Who wants a Zen like little pool? I want a pool that has a few waves in it, maybe even a little mud! One that says I lived a bit, ya know?