Thursday, May 16, 2013

Am I crazy?

I have been putting a lot of thought into why I chose to talk more about my anxiety. About why I thought it was important to talk about it. You see I don't know if anyone else is like me, i mean anyone else who maybe has anxiety or depression.  But I have some thoughts. 

See I am not being open in hopes of receiving sympathy from people who read this. Or to in turn be treated differently. In fact I hope most people who know me can just look at me and see me, as me.  I actually kind of despise the thought of people thinking just because I have anxiety I should be treated carefully and tip toed around.  

For me I choose to speak about it simply so that the person on the other side of the screen rabidly searching the internet to find out if they are 'normal' will stumble upon me and realize that it is so normal to go through this. Yeah you may need therapy, or whatever your choice of action is, but it really doesn't change anything else.  It doesn't make you a sudden outcast to have a mental health problem.  *Side note I really hate the term 'Mental Health' i think they should start calling it 'Normal people with sorta normal more common than you know problems'.  See I am not a victim to my problem, it is what it is.  All you lucky people who read this just get to hear the awesomeness of what can go through my head in a moment of anxiousness. 

I am a part of this really amazing Mom's group that is online, seriously it's awesome.  Anyway something stuck out for me recently.  I woman who is expecting again asked if there was such a thing as pre-natal depression, and went on to explain how she had been feeling lately.  A lot of women jumped on to support her in telling her how they were there for her, that it's just normal pregnancy stuff etc.  Which sometimes it can be.  I reached out to her to explain it happens and I went through it. We had a few minor exchanges that hopefully left the channel of communication open for her.

The thing that stuck out for me was - why when someone is reaching out do we feel the need to tell them everything is ok, and yep its just normal pregnancy?  Because we don't want them to feel bad?  Because we don't know how to deal with it if it is real? Does it mean now that that person is friggin crazy?!  

My hope is that one day when someone reaches out and says "I think something isn't right"  it can be addressed.  LIke for real looked at. No i don't mean instantly send you to a shrink. I mean like have a real conversation, ask more questions, listen to the person (like truly listen) and be a support that is going to make it seem like this is as common as a flu bug that just made it's rounds.  I hope that it can just be a normal thing, that you can talk about it like you would any other issue. I think it'll happen. 

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