Big Steps

Yesterday I made a really big step forward for myself. Now to most it would seem little, maybe not even on their radar as a movement at all.  But to me, and my usual patterns in life, it was an awesome step!

See like I have mentioned in a previous post, I spent a good chunk of my years paralyzed. Paralyzed to do anything!  I would come up with ideas of jobs, vacations, items I wanted to buy and then stop. I just couldn’t commit. It depended on the circumstances each time as to what would stop me. But a lot of the time it was simply fear.

Fear is like the enemy of the world. Fear causes way more issues then it ever should be allowed. See it feeds on itself. Once it wins once, it becomes more powerful.  Fear had been feeding off me for a long time. Longer then I care to admit.

About 4 years ago shortly after Ben and I started dating we moved to Halifax. I worked from home so this was an easy move for me. But I got bored. I needed time out of the apartment. So he suggested I take his camera out for a walk. I quickly fell in love. I never thought I would like photography all that much.  Ben taught me a few basics and I worked at it for months. Then we moved home and I kind of stopped.

Insert fear. You see I had family members who were already amazing photographers we didn’t need another one in the family. Honestly I used that as an excuse! The worst part is my family is so huge that if I continued down that path I would never find something I loved that no one else was doing *insert head smash on wall.

Then Ben came to the rescue again, such a knight in shining armor he is, and bought me my own camera as a wedding present!

I took hundreds of pictures and barely ever showed anyone anything.  Then I had kids. My love of photography increased ten fold.  I took a weekend course that gave me some basics about shooting in manual and I have practiced and practiced more.

Since having Elise I really realized it was something that as the girls got older I would really love to do.  But that would mean I would have to commit. And even worse, like tell people I was doing it…

One of my favorites!

So back to the big step. I finally asked a friend of mine if she would be up for coming out with me to practice.  I came home from shooting her and was totally exhilarated. I loved every second of it. We had so much fun together. And it felt so good to do something creative.  I had not felt that good about something I had done in a long time.  Anyone else out there take a big step this week?

Oh and remember that guy Fear, he came home a little deflated and feeling sorry for himself…