Flashback Insight

An interesting thing happens when you open your mind to being truthful about yourself. You start piecing together parts of a puzzle that you had kicked under the bed in hopes of never crossing it again.  I've been dragging pieces out for awhile now. They kinda just keep getting more interesting. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like they could possibly belong to the person I am now. 

For instance…I actually kind of want to bang my head on a wall over this story while blushing fiercely for owning the fact it happened. 

I always wanted to go to post-secondary schooling. The thought was crippling though. How do you decide what your going to be? Especially at 17!  I kept finding ways to put it off. I had some amazing reasons and stories why it really wasn't for me.   Truth is, it terrified me to step into a decision and have to own it.  

So, I got really brave one summer and went and registered for a semester at RDC. I know right?  A whole semester. I was excited though. I felt like it was a good way to test the waters without having to commit myself fully.   I registered into an array of classes, tourism types, and one marketing class. 

I was actually quite excited about the marketing class. Until I got there.  Seriously I think I am blushing just about to write this because its so ridiculous.

The first day of classes was going great. I loved all of them and settled in very easily. Until I got to the marketing class. We were told the semester would be spent on group projects. We would pair up into 2's or 3's. My heart sunk. Then it hit rock and splattered when we were told we could choose the groups. Eff. 

Who would want to pair with me? I was convinced I would be left with no group. People looking and judging that I would not be a good group member. Yeah you know this class of 30 people really took the time in that 15 minutes to just zone in on me. Cue spotlight, dramatic music, and people pointing fingers in total disgust. Sigh. 

I did the only logical thing. Dropped the class. Told my Mom that I really didn't think marketing was for me and that I didn't want to waste time with it. Insert forehead slap.   I went on to finish my semester with  my name on the Dean's List and a mental slap for eventually realizing how ridiculous I was.