Pink Fish

We had a tragedy this week. Pink Fish died. The night before I watched good old Pink Fish flip around her tank. Next morning, dead. Aubrey and Elise had spent the night with Grandma Jackie, luckily giving me some time to think about how to handle our tragedy.

When I went to pick the girls up I decided to break the news to Aubs. She was not really that concerned, asked a few questions but not too worked up.

So being super bright we forgot to get rid of Pink Fish before the girls got home. As Aubrey sat down to eat this is how our conversation went...

Aubs: Mom I am really sad Pink Fish died. Remember that time I called her Ariel?

Me: Yep Aubs I do remember that time.

Aubs: Mom, I'm just really sad.

Me: I know hon. But I think Pink Fish went to heaven.

Aubs: Ummm Pink Fish is in her tank.

Crap what did I do! Insert a really long explanation about the difference between a soul and body. So many questions followed.

Aubs: Mom I don't want to die.

Me: Oh Aubs you are really healthy, and we will work hard to keep you that way.  (nope I didn't just stop there).  See I had a Grandpa Coleman who died. He was really old and his heart just wasn't healthy anymore.

Aubs : (Her Eyes doubled in size) MOM you mean Coleman, like Mean Coleman DIED!!

Me: No a different Coleman.  SO what should we have for lunch?!

Feel free to send Parent of The Year Awards my way.

First Days

My house feels quiet. Which is ridiculous because I can hear Elise smashing toys about as she plays in the little wooden kitchen.  But it feels quiet. 

Today I dropped Aubrey off at her first day of pre-school.  Now I know this should not really feel like a big day, but I am kind of sad.  Yes it's only two hours, yes it's only two days a week, but it's the beginning of her being gone all day, five days a week.  It all feels too close. If I could just push it away for just a bit longer. Keep her naive and carefree just a bit longer.  

I feel most sad for what I know will come.  The things that seem inevitable. Things that will shape her that are out of my control.  I know the best I can do is be ready, ready to teach her how to respond, how to cope, how to stay light hearted and joyous. 

So, today a letter for my girl.

Aubrey,

Today you start pre-school. It's a big day. One that you are so ready for. You have felt ready for school the last year.  You were so excited this morning, even made your Dad play school all morning until it was time to go. 

You worried for your Mamma, asked me quite a few times if I was sad.  I explained multiple times, that I was sad but sometimes it's ok to be sad. 

I want you to remember that there are so many exciting things about school.  But also that there will be challenges.  There will be times that another kid is not so nice. But remember there are times you can be not so nice. This doesn't mean that they, or you, are a bad person. Give second chances, give third chances. I think being giving is the most important thing to remember.  

Love you to the most,

Mom

P.S. Remember that even if none of the other kids do, it's ok to break out into song whenever you feel like!